Save Money On Booze By Getting Somebody Else To Pay For It

As many of you know, this past friday was the fourth of July, which means one thing:  lots of booze.  It also means lots of socializing with scantily clad people.  This combination presents quite a problem to the frugal individual:  how do you drink and have a good time without spending all your money?  Easy!  .

Get Somebody Else To Pay For It

I don’t know about you, but I get VERY generous after I’ve had a few.  “Put it on my tab,” and “the next round is on me” are common phrases you might here around me at the bar.  Even worse, they tend to happen at shorter and shorter intervals as the night progresses.  In the interest of getting sloshed on somebody else’s dime, here are my top tips for frugal alcoholism.  Note:  these tips are mostly for men.  Women basically just need to be present.

• Have really hot friends – Have you ever been to a bar with a group of hot females?  You should.  When creepy men try to impress your hot blonde friend by buying a round of shots for the group (that’s you!), you’ll get a free drink nine times out of ten.  After all, they couldn’t exclude you from the round without looking like a douche bag in front of the girl they’re trying to impress.
• Hustle People – Make a bet you can’t lose and wager a round of brew.  Of course, it’s preferable to make it a trick bet so you know you’ll win every time.  Here are some ideas for proposition bets.
• Be Social, Fun, But A Bit Of A Jerk – Women are used to being approached by skeazy men offering them drinks.  Don’t.  Instead, start a conversation with a woman and proceed to have a fun, interesting conversation.  Don’t hit on her AT ALL.  This is important.  If you hit on her even slightly, this won’t work.  Feel free to tease her slightly and make some off-color, ballsy comments:  something no regular guy would dare say to a woman he’d just met.  After she’s suitably seduced, say something like “You know, I feel like I’ve been doing all the talking here.  You should buy me a drink for the entertainment.”  You could also say something much cooler.  This works for me probably 70% of the time.  But beware:  second dates generally cost more than that free drink you just got.
• Be George Bush – I bet George Bush gets free booze wherever he goes.  That would certainly explain some of the stupid things he’s done.