Anheuser-Busch Sold! The End Is Nigh

It looks as though nobody joined me in my quest to save American beer because the unthinkable has happened:  Anheuser-Busch has agreed to be acquired by InBev, an evil Belgian conglomerate (they speak French and Flemish, which is also an evil language).  Adding insult to injury, InBev’s final bid came in at only $52 billion!

Since buying up all our biggest breweries is the equivalent of buying America’s manhood, $52 billion seems a bit low.  My manhood alone is worth at least $13 billion.  Taking that into account, even a conservative estimate put’s BUD’s value at over $1 trillion dollars.  Don’t want to pay out the nose for French beer?  Here’s what to do.

• Support Your Local Micro-Brewery - My favorite local brewery, Sweetwater, makes a variety of delicious ales ranging from their IPA (one of the best I’ve ever had) to delicious seasonal varieties like Festive Ale.  Your hometown likely has its own micro-brewery.  Let’s teach those frenchies what’s what by buying local and helping our own community for once.  Sure it may cost more, but would you rather support the guy down the street of some faceless corporate entity in Belgium?
• Brew Your Own - If you have the time, you can cut out the middleman completely and brew your own beer.  A batch of homebrew will usually yield enough to fill a case of beer.  Sure, it takes a few weeks to brew, makes your house smell like hops, and isn’t really any cheaper than buying from the local supermarket, but you have the luxury of brewing your beer exactly the way you like it.  That’s luxury money can’t buy.  I recommend Learn To Brew’s Superior Home Brew Beer kit, which has just about everything you need for about $150.  You should also check out the how-to section over at Homebrew.com for more info on brewing your own.

Don’t let those Frenchies take your manhood.  Fight back!