Me, Me, Me Is Dull, Dull, Dull

The inspiration for this post was taken from Thomas Stanley’s book, The Millionaire Mind.  You can read my review of The Millionaire Mind here.

In chapter two, Stanley reveals the results of a survey prompting a representative sample of America’s millionaires to rate to what degree dozens of different factors contributed to their success.  These factors fell into several predictable categories, such as intellect, integrity, investing, luck, social skills, and discipline.  So what characteristics do millionaires believe contributed most to their success?  Many people think millionaires would credit their intelligence, high grades, or graduating from a top (Ivy) league university for their success, but these factors all ranked in the bottom third.  What about investing savvy or being your own boss?  Better, but still in the bottom half.  As it turns out, millionaires overwhelmingly credit their social skills for their success, specifically “getting along with people” and “being honest with all people.”

Getting Along With Others

The important role social skills play in business success makes intuitive sense.  Successful businesses and businespeople are those that best serve the needs of their customers.  Customers aren’t impressed with credentials, which college you graduated from, or what you scored on your SATs.  They only care about solving their problem, preferably in the most pleasant way possible.  The better you are at helping others solve their problems and the easier you make it, the more successful you will be.  But it goes further than that.  Nobody can succeed in this world alone.  Few entrepreneurs could grow their businesses without help from a spouse, business partner, or important customer.  All else being equal, most people would prefer to do business with somebody they like than somebody they dislike.  Other people will be more willing to go the extra mile in helping you achieve your goals if you go the extra mile helping them achieve theirs.

Me, Me, Me Is Dull, Dull, Dull

The most direct application of this social dynamic is developing empathy for the needs of others.  Many otherwise intelligent people often have trouble articulating exactly what it is they need.  The ability to anticipate the needs of others, perhaps even before they realize the need themselves, is perhaps the single most important business skill anybody could ever develop.  Focusing only on your own needs in your dealings with others usually backfires, because most people will be unwilling to cut you a break if they feel you’re only out for yourself.  By ensuring the needs of others are met before your own, you build good-will and gain important contacts, customers, or even mentors.  Remember, “me, me, me is dull, dull, dull.”