Tipping Trends I Despise

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a fierce advocate of generous tipping.  I generally end up tipping at least 20% for decent service, and often a bit more since I tend to round up to the nearest half dollar.  If I’m being served by a friend or at least somebody I’m on friendly terms with, I tend to tip even more.  I’ve rarely left less than 15%, even for sub-par service, and I don’t think I’ve ever left less than 10%.

Tipping Trends I Despise

But enough is enough.  There are some relatively recent tipping trends I despise:

• Tipping Before Being Served – There are a growing number of restaurants who follow the order-up-front-in-advance-but-then-we’ll-bring-the-food-to-you-and-serve-you model, including one of my favorite Pasta joints.  The problem, of course, is that “tip” line when you pay with a credit card.  I never know what I should put.  On the one hand, I don’t want to stiff the wait staff and put nothing.  On the other hand, I haven’t been served yet, so how can I determine what level of tip the wait staff deserves?  Sure, I could put $0.00 on the card and leave cash at the table, but I very, very rarely have cash on me anymore, and if I do it’s usually in larger denominations.  And it’s not as if giving a larger tip in advance will ensure good service for the remainder of the visit (I’ve tried it), so that’s not a workable solution either.  I hate this with a passion.  If you’re going to serve me, have me pay at the end.  If you have me pay at the beginning, let me get my own food.  You’re making things needlessly complicated.  Oh, and as a result of all this I pretty much always leave a much smaller tip than I would have otherwise, just in case I get lousy service.
• Including An Automatic 18% Gratuity For Large Parties – I know why this exists.  Often times, large parties will (accidentally) stiff the waitress with an abnormally small tip even though larger groups require a lot more work to keep happy.  I get it.  And it’s fine so long as the service is good.  I don’t think anybody would balk at paying 18% for good service.  The problem, as I’ve observed it, is that whenever an automatic tip is in force, the quality of service drops dramatically.  This is a universal and very reliable phenomenon, so you can’t just chalk it up to an isolated incident.  And it makes perfect sense:  if you know in advance what your tip will be and practically nothing you do can screw it up, why not slack off?  You’d be a fool not to!  There’s got to be some balance between protecting the wait staff from bad tippers and making sure they are still properly incentivized to do a good job.  Since it’s ultimately the restaurant owners who miss out on repeat and referral customers if their wait staff screws up, you’d think they’d be very motivated to nip such problems in the bud.  No dice, so far as I can tell.  If you’re going to force me to pay 18%, you’d better provide good service.  In fact, you’ve actually raised the bar for what I expect from you.  If you cross me, I’ll not hesitate to make the rest of your shift very, very uncomfortable.  Sadly, I’m disappointed probably 80% of the time.

What are some tipping caveats you’ve run afoul of in the past?  Do you despise anything about tipping as much as I do?